I was having a look at some webpages recently, as I was trying to learn more about how to write about a work of art or a valuable creation. I like to understand art, and explain it to other people. Of course, the online world is not the best place to look for lessons on understanding art. Anyway, I found a website that I think is cathartic for anyone who is frustrated with all the pretenses (“Pretense is cheap” as we learned from the RHONY) and artificiality perceived among artists and “artists”. Pixmaven.com is a webpage that creates instant art critique, without even seeing the artwork! I wanted to share with my readers a few of the funny quotes it made up:
“Umm… the iconicity of the Egyptian motifs visually and conceptually activates the essentially transitional quality. ”
“I’m surprised that no one’s mentioned yet that the subaqueous qualities of the purity of line endangers the devious simplicity of the inherent overspecificity. ”
“It’s difficult to enter into this work because of how the iconicity of the sexy fish endangers the devious simplicity of the inherent overspecificity. ”
“I’m troubled by how the internal dynamic of the biomorphic forms spatially undermines the distinctive formal juxtapositions. ”
“As an advocate of the Big Mac Aesthetic, I feel that the aura of the purity of line endangers the devious simplicity of the distinctive formal juxtapositions. ”
This was really funny, now we can continue and focus on real comments of art (not “art”).